...someone tells you in jest that you need to replace the blinker fluid, and you go to Autozone to buy Blinker Fluid.

....if you think that anti-freeze is a weather control device.

.....you're told that your engine is missing, and you call the police to report it.

you replace the stale air in your tires twice a year.

You're Doing A 100,000 Mile Maintenance On Your Car ...
... and on the way to get parts, you can't remember if you need "roller" or "ball" type muffler bearings and you just know they'll ask.

You Don't Know The Bloody Difference Between The Hood, The Boot, And The Bonnet!

You pay someone to roate your tires, because the tires rotate every time you drive.

Must be a Brit. I sure don't know what is a boot and a bonnet, because we don't call them that in the US.

Boot = Trunk

Bonnet = Hood

Windscreen = Windshield

Petrol = Gas

Just some of the basics.

You have never used a hammer on a pair of vise-grips. You haven't thought of at least seven different things that F.O.R.D. stands for. Ford owners rarely drive. Failed on race day. Freaky old rebuilt Dodge. Found on road dead. Fix or repair daily. Foolish owner really depressed. Fouled out, remains in driveway. Fell out rear door? I should have kept it down to five. The quality has come up lately. Can you tell the difference between a mechanic and a pirate? A mechanic's parrot is too scared to repeat what he says.

Not to mention the model-specific

MUSTANG - Messed Up Somethin' Terrible And No Good

The service advisor says you have blown a seal and you say "Fix the car and leave my private life out of it!"

You're not a mechanic if your only tools are a sledge hammer and a propane torch. Your repair jobs consist of either beating something to pieces or burning it up.

You wonder whether you should use premium fuel in your car. Any car.

...........your only idea of a strut is what George Jefferson does.

......you think that a valve lifter is a kind of athletic competitor.

......you think a transmission clutch is an automotive handbag.

If you've ever, seriously considered buying things from this website, and not just for laughs:
http://kal...ex&cPath=2

My Fave! I'm disappointed that they are out of blinker fluid, though.

They don't have any performance improving window deacals either. Doesn't anyone realize that window decals add at least 15 horsepower to your car? All the NASCAR and NHRA cars are covered by them.

you haven't been backflaged for work you didn't do.

You think the Mcpherson strut is a Scottish dance.