I have a boyfriend who simply will not wash his car...ever! It's not an old car, barely two years old, and it's red, which means it's quite noticeable. It's so dirty, that on the backseat floor there are piles of his silvery hair that blows off when he drives with the windows down. He says the earth is filled with moon dust, which is layered on his dashboard. Forget that he won't open the door for me while on a date...why should he, he won't even wash his car...not even for me. Thank goodness it's been raining alot here in Austin, or the pigeon poop that's been encrusted on his car for months would still be there! What gives?
Nice try, but he never washed his car while with his ex-wife of 25 years. And, by the way, I wash my car weekly and want to stay single, but not grow old alone. Hmmm, come to think of it, maybe it's me that's the odd ball.
The Odd Couple was a very popular movie and spun off a very popular TV show. Felix was the squeaky clean one and the other one the slob (Walter Matthau).
Our daily paper is full of posts like yours. Your boyfriend may believe that washing anything is women's work, or he is incredibly cheap.
Rather than tell you to look elswhere, I would "borrow" his car and take it to one of those detail washing and cleaning shops where everybody speaks Spanish. If his reaction is ho-hum, I would take a hike; he's not only incorrigibly sloppy, but he's ungrateful as well! Don't waste your time with his kind.
Wow, so many great responses. Thanks all. I will consider what you suggest.
By the way, Greasy Jack, I did wash it once for him, and he didn't even notice, or if he did, he didn't say so. He did tell me thank you after I told him what I did. The more I think about this, the stranger it seems. Does the fact that he's a classical conductor and musician have anything to do with it? (Watch me get smashed for that thought!)
Totally self-absorbed comes to mind. Totally focused on his art/career. Does not seem to care about the world around him and takes the people in his life for granted.
Being self-absorbed does not necessarily come with the job. We belong to a philharmonic association and some of the musicians and the conductor are outstandingly sensitive human beings. I have also had the president of one of the largest electric utilites open the car door for me before he got in himself!
You have to decide for yourself whether this is the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
I wasn't suggesting that he doesn't wash his car only because he wants to stay single. Before he met you, he didn't wash his car because he was lazy, which had nothing to do with you. I am suggesting that he is unwilling to go a short way to please you because he wants to stay single. He is willing to live like a pig in spite of the fact that it bothers you, which says something about how much he cares about what you think.
Whether we were talking about automotive hygiene, personal hygiene, or some other slovenly habit he refused to break, the fact that it is important to you should make it important to him...if he cares about you.
Sorry, but if he isn't willing to wash his car for you, he just isn't into you.
Good point, but I like him despite his car, clean or dirty; just trying to understand the reasoning behind his lack of care for something that valuable and important in his life.
I agree that the car is symptom. If he's "clean", enjoyable to be with and thoughtful otherwise and you like riding in his car, clean it for him. If he doesn't treat you with the respect you feel you deserve (and opening a door at your wish is important to you) and you still stay with him, that's when it becomes your problem, not his.
"Docnick" is right !
Sounds as if he is either lazy or a slob. A future with him will have plenty of frustration and heartache.
Forget that he won't open the door for me while on a date.........real men always get the door for a lady when entering a car, building or where ever and at anytime, not just on a date.
Ha ha ha, Two Tone! Would normally agree if my last boyfriend hadn't proved otherwise; he opened my door every time we went out, even at the grocery store and we dated for 6 years and are still friends...and yep, he still opens the door.
Did it ever dawn on you that your problem of nagging him is worse than his dirty car? I'm sure if we asked him, he could come up with a list of complaints about your habits.
Pick your battles carefully. It's his car - let him have some space. This one isn't important, and it definitely isn't worth creating tension in a relationship over.
Joe, with all due respect to your comment the op gives no indication that she ever nagged at the bf. I see the post simply as a question and a comment concerning the bf habits. I actually see this as important since the bf's habits reveal the heart.
Your replies are well taken. Maybe I did make unfair assumptions. It's difficult to know the true situation from only a few entries in a discussion like this.
My wife and I used to nag each other about many things we thought were important. Over the years our criteria for what's really important to worry about keeps changing. Maybe I was simply trying to share some of that perspective.
10/31/2009 12:11:35 PM
