http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/12203.page Public Action Thou shalt not put on make-up, shave, or read while driving.
If thou insisteth on having fake Hawaiian leis, Mardi Gras beads and graduation tassles, they shall not occupy more than 10% of you shield of wind. ]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#920023 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#920023 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#854413 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#854413 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#297061 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#297061 GMT
Thou shall not use the turning lane to pass a row of cars because thou wish to go faster.

Thou shall not go warp speed in the far right lane of the highway.
]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#287014 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#287014 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#276620 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#276620 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#276421 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#276421 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#272682 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#272682 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#272675 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#272675 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#866018 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#866018 GMT

Steve]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#270432 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#270432 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#270414 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#270414 GMT Shave with Floating Heads cordless shaver while picking spinach outta teeth while sipping decaf mocha hazelnut ammachiado espresso while eating marshmallow/ asparagus quiche while talking on cell phone while turning left onto ANY road.
Amen and A-Women!!]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#269223 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#269223 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#267852 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#267852 GMT OR
THOU SHALT NEVER STOP AT THE END OF AN ENTRANCE RAMP AND EXPECT OTHERS TO TAKE PITY ON YOU. ]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#267826 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#267826 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#264217 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#264217 GMT
THY DASHBOARD PLASTIC JESUS SHALT NOT WEARETH A HULA SKIRT]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#264015 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#264015 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#264014 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#264014 GMT THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE THY BLINKER ON FOR 10
MILES
THOU SHALT NOT PARK EXCURSION IN COMPACT SPOT

FROM RICHARD PLOCK
SAN ANTONIO TX
rplock@guidoco.com
210-771-4474
210-734-0371
*
]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#262676 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#262676 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258473 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258473 GMT Maybe we need more for the places we end up after driving a while (jail excluded). So here's my commandments for "Grocery Store Shopping" since I usually end up there once a week anyway (and that's one more time each week than I end up in a Catholic Church).

A former Catholic seminarian
Bob Rink
Cleveland Heights, Ohio


“Grocery Shoppers” Ten Commandments
1. Thou shalt not let the melons become an occasion of sin; therefore, only women shall be allowed to shop for and touch the melons.
2. Thou shalt not let the cucumbers become an occasion of sin; therefore, only men shall shop for and touch the cucumbers.
3. Neither shalt the men touch the cucumbers, nor the women touch the melons, in a manner to give scandal to the other (or if intrinsically disordered, to themselves).
4. Honor thy baker and thy meat packer, to say nothing of thy wine and beer steward.
5. Thou shalt not kill the fattened lamb; let the meat packer do that and you’ll enjoy eating it a whole lot more.
6. Thou shalt keep gluttonous the grocery shopping day.
7. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s steaks.
8. Thou shall not bear false witness (i.e. lie) about the freshness of the strawberries.
9. Thou shalt keep holy the lettuce; for it was what covered Adam’s and Eve’s privates.
10. Thou shalt not cut the cheese at the grocery store; for God’s sake, can’t you wait until you get home!
]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#255430 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#255430 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#254828 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#254828 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#254826 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#254826 GMT
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors lane only whenst it
be holy to him and whenst he giveth the lane unto
thee, thou shalt taketh the damned thing.

Thou shalt getteth thine vehicle unto the far
righteous lane whenst thou turneth the righteous way.
Lest thou causeth mine vehicle to wait what seemeth an
eternity.

Thou shalt not speedeth up to preventeth mine vehicle
from entering the kingdom of freeway.

Whenst I cross the road to heaven in dark robes, I
walk in the valley and the shadow of death.

Whenst the lord said "let their be light" he meant not
beams from on high whenst opposing traffic cometh

Thou shalt not displayeth thine bumper scroll telling
of thine student of the month even whenst it be thine
only begotten son.

Thou shalt not picketh thine proboscis seeking the
glory of heaven whenst thou hast only a windshield to
cloak thee.

Let only he who has never erred in his carriage
flippeth off he who has.

Thou shalt not tread too mightily upon thy brakes in
thine fast lane lest chevy begat honda and honda
begat lexus and lexus begat toyota and toyota begat
audi and audi begat mustang and mustang begat hummer
etc.

Though shalt not lead us to temptation with thine red
parking flags

Our car which art in heaven, totalled be thy name.

In the beginning there was new car smell, Now all the
frankinsense and Myrrh in Bethlehem couldst not hide
thy stench

The light hast changeth, dost thou wait for the second
coming of the lord?

Thine followers shall praise hallelujah whenst my lord
useth thine turn out lane

Thou shalt not drinketh the blood of Christ, then be
pulled over and made to walk the straight and narrow.]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#254634 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#254634 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#253811 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#253811 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#251230 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#251230 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249681 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249681 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249673 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249673 GMT
Thou shalt faithfully obey lowered speeds in roadway work zones lest thou injure or kill those who labor for thy transportation good upon the roadway. (Yet another MoDOT worker was killed by a drunk, speeding driver last night!)

Annoint not the public thoroughfares with thine coffee, soda, trash, and cigarette butts poured forth in profanation upon the land and street from thy windows.

Shatter not thy neighbor's hearing with booming stereos spreading excessive noise upon the peace of the land.

Seek not to cut off and run down thy fellow driver who is signalling to change lanes in a lawful manner.

Judge not the yellow traffic light to mean floor it like hell to beat the red, lest thee collide with those who leave early their appointed resting place at the intersection in an effort to beat the upcoming green light.

Be thou ever sober, vigilant, and alert behind the wheel.

Thou shalt obey given traffic laws of the land. If thou shouldst object to these laws, heed not thy selfish desires. Thou mayest strive lawfully to bring forth change in the traffic laws so that thee may then lawfully give act to thy speedy cravings.

Show not disrespect for other drivers lest thee bring forth danger upon the roadways.

Keep thou only to the proper lane for the speed thee wishes to drive.

Look thou not excessively at the misfortune of others upon the roadside lest thou befall a like iniquity for thy inattention to traffic.

In all things driving, be thou lawful, moderate, careful, and considerate and thou shalt be blest with safer driving.



]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249015 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249015 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258875 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258875 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249014 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#249014 GMT Honor thy neighbor's blind spots and keep them empty]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248813 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248813 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258874 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258874 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248617 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248617 GMT
Thou knows thou's vehicle is not a compact model so why does thou park in a compact only space? Thou shouldnt use it ever even if it was the only space available!!! (Thou knows its usually not either since thou is usually too lazy to walk from a space further out.)]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248292 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248292 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248282 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248282 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#866014 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#866014 GMT
Don't you mean "greed" instead of "green?"
First you have to wait for all of the clowns who stretch the yellow into the red.

2. When thou art making a left turn on a green ball signal, thou shalt pull into the intersection and not waiteth in the turn lane. Thou shalt clear the intersection at the first available opportunity.

Thou art asking for the accident to occurreth.

The law says thou shalt not enter the intersection unless thou beist certain that thou canst leave it immediately.

Also, certain traffic lights canst trapeth thou in the intersection if thou doeth what thou sayest. The traffic signal canst leave thou stucketh with the yellow, and then the red light, whilest the cars which cometh towardst thee still haveth the green light. This trapeth thy auto in the intersection with the red light. Thou canst getteth the ticket in this manner. Or in the worst event, thou mightst not noticeth that the other cars still moveth with the green light, and thou mightst collide with them.

Thou shouldst Google "left turn lag-trap" to find eth out more.

3. Honor the intersection and keep it open. Thou shalt not wait in traffic within said intersection.

Doest this not contradicteth with thy previous advice?

5. Thou shalt learn the meaning of "Do Not Enter", "No Left Turn", "No Right Turn", and "No U-Turn".

- Add to that "NO TURN ON RED", "ONE WAY", "LEFT TURN YIELD ON BALL GREEN", "LEFT TURN YIELD ON FLASHING YELLOW ARROW", and "NO PARKING."

]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258872 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258872 GMT
2. When thou art making a left turn on a green ball signal, thou shalt pull into the intersection and not waiteth in the turn lane. Thou shalt clear the intersection at the first available opportunity.

3. Honor the intersection and keep it open. Thou shalt not wait in traffic within said intersection.

4. Thou shalt have a driver's license and full liability insurance.

5. Thou shalt learn the meaning of "Do Not Enter", "No Left Turn", "No Right Turn", and "No U-Turn".

6. When thine car does not start, thou hast a problem. When thine car does not stop, lo, everyone else hast a problem.]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248213 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#248213 GMT
Ditto on the fire lanes and all other places that are not legal parking spaces!!!]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#244622 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#244622 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#244417 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#244417 GMT more fuel efficient, more economical car by driving your car like a manic to show its just as good.
]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#242833 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#242833 GMT
Thou is the one passing other less fortunate souls driving the large SUV, the Ferrare, the Porsche, etc and then thou is the one that must try to talk thou's self out of a ticket when or if thou is caught by the few souls actually writing tickets on the roads.

]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#242830 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#242830 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#242820 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#242820 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#241030 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#241030 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240670 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240670 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240637 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240637 GMT
Nobody has the right to drive faster than the speed limit. And nobody has the right to pass when traffic fills all of the lanes.]]> http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258860 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258860 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240613 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240613 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258858 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#258858 GMT http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240612 http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/cartalk/posts/list/102809.page#240612 GMT