72 Far Superior Topics

[Posted by David Miller on May 5, 2008]

Our commenter "mucker" pulled no punches in criticizing Friday's Upside of the Downturn show, calling it an "absurdly broad question" based on "the pathetic journalism of researching a topic by posting questions to your own web forum." (I disagreed.)

But mucker wasn't all criticism. Mixed in with the tough love was a maniacally exhaustive list of 72 "far superior topics." Some are clearly jokes. Some -- I think -- are serious. But there are some real gems in the pile, and we'd consider producing at least one show from this grand list. What's your favorite?

• Shoes: what's happening now; men vs. women vs. you tell me
• Oregon's best pancakes
• What cars say about drivers
• The clothes you can't throw out
• The best pet $80 can buy
• Organic vs. local: Deathmatch Throwdown!
• Things you wish you could have done via answering machine
• Desert island movies
• Have you or a loved one ever pretended to be pregnant? Why?
• What's the largest weapon a person should be allowed to carry?
• Should pit bulls be legal?
• What does "affordable housing" mean to you? Should we bother?
• Is biodiesel greener than hybrids?
• How stupid is it not to flouridate the water? Kinda, or very?
• The worst prom date
• The case against, or maybe for, Scientology: why does it sound like science?
• Graduation speakers: would you rather have a good one or a ridiculously bad one? Do you think you could do better?
• Attention deficit disorder: hoax? Or hoax?
• Nighttime basketball
• Ears: and aging; iPods and the danger to; the proper hygiene of; cosmetic alteration of
• Immunization: government coverup? or chilling example of natural selection, wherein those least adapted to science are doomed to suffer by it?
• Typeface design: computers vs. calligraphy
• The gamut of beans: Pinto vs. black vs. red is just the beginning
• "I have a secret"
• Summer camps
• Gadgets vs. heirlooms: can't we all just get along?
• Hair care on 5 cents a day
• Hedge funds: what the heck are we paying the SEC for, anyway?
• "Vampire" electrical draw: how you are paying *not* to use your appliances
• Three things every new parent should know
• How to choose a gravestone
• Tournament of analgesics: aspirin vs. acetominophen vs. ibuprofen: a cage match
• Should Oregon be embarassed that its bagel stores are open during Passover? Jews in the West
• Ten minute recipes from the freezer
• How fat is too fat?
• Swiffer: some say it cleans. I say it smears. Why is nobody in jail?
• The longest you ever stood in line
• One thing you would change about your body OR One thing you would change about how others view your body
• Lots of people think basic healthcare is a right. What about dental care? Eye care? High-end perfumes?
• Personal shoppers
• Jokes you can tell to a six-year-old
• Can you really mix primary colors to make brown, or has the government been lying to us all these years?
• How many homeless could we feed if we put a tax on the Olympics?
• How did "senior citizens" become an unfashionable term, less preferred than "seniors" or "honored citizens"? If "seniors" are in retirement, how shall we refer to persons in their fourth year of high school or college? How much can we hope to gain, or obscure, by shuffling terms around? If the problem lies outside of language, what is it, anyway?
• The best TV
• Home remedies
• Things you wish you had written--or hadn't
• What you learned from gym
• The "Boy Named Sue" Theory: Does a person's name shape his/her character?
• Underappreciated holidays and anniversaries
• First cars / jobs / apartments/houses
• Why I didn't go to college
• Why I'm not quite a vegetarian
• The first person I'd like to see substituting for "Survivor Man"
• Three things to take on a trip
• What you do in order to get permission to play golf
• Food that looks like celebrities: investment vehicle of the future?
• Pickup lines that made the breakup lines worthwhile
• Fiscal new year's resolutions
• Thin Elvis vs. Fat Elvis vs. young Harrison Ford vs. latter-day H. F.
• How to apologize
• What parents can tell you about a potential spouse
• Passing cars on the right: jailable offense, a cry for help, or a further sign that our public schools are failing us?
• Long-term care in a short-term world
• Neighbors you miss
• Regional junk food
• The time you REALLY could have used a change of clothes
• The books everybody starts but almost nobody finishes
• Why you hate your name
• Traffic ticket fines that are proportionate to your income, cf Finland
• The latest in potty training
• Eight great albums of the 21st century